Hockey Heaven & Hell: Week 10

Written by Bob G. | 06 December 2011

Welcome to the first edition of Hockey Heaven and Hell - a weekly ranking of NHL hockey teams. Teams will fall into one of three groups of ten - Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell. You’ll find this ranking to be different than most of the other power rankings out there, in that it’s based on where teams are currently projected to finish in overall points at the end of the regular season. Factored into the projections are such stats as goals scored/allowed both home and away, strength of schedule to date, strength of schedule remaining, and quality of recent play.

Hockey Heaven

Welcome to Hockey Heaven! If you’ll step to your right, you’ll be issued your halos and wings. Oh, I’m sorry Mr. Lucic - there don’t appear to be any here for you. Are you sure you’re in the right place?

Rank	Team	Record	Comment
1	Boston Bruins	17-7-1	After suffering from a Stanley Cup hangover and going 3-7-0 in October, the champs are back to their winning ways, going 14-0-1 since.
2	New York Rangers	15-6-3	The Rangers? Yes, the Rangers. Having the second-best team GAA in the league goes a long way, and having a healthy (for now) Marian Gaborik certainly helps. And look - Sean Avery is back just to spice things up a bit.
3	Vancouver Canucks	15-10-1	The Canucks are finally moving up in the standings, as Roberto Luongo’s annual slow start appears to be drawing to a close. Since the start of November, Luongo has a 2.33 GAA after a 3.54 GAA in October.
4	Pittsburgh Penguins	16-8-4	The Pens are 5-2-1 since Crosby returned, but how about some acknowledgement for unsung guys like Pascal Dupuis, Kris Letang and Jordan Staal for keeping the Pens winning in his absence.
5	Detroit Red Wings	16-8-1	The Wings had a nice 7 game win streak going before they stumbled against the Avs on Sunday.
6	San Jose Sharks	14-8-1	The Sharks have slipped a bit recently, losing 3 of their last 4 games. But they’ve also had one of the toughest schedules thus far, and have rarely been out of any of their games played.
7	Minnesota Wild	17-7-3	The Wild’s goaltending tandem of Niklas Backstrom and Josh Harding has been one of the best in the league. But they’ll be hard-pressed to hold off the Canucks in the Northwest Division if they can’t generate some more offense.
8	St. Louis Blues	14-9-3	New coach Ken Hitchcock has a goaltending controversy on his hands, but it’s a nice problem to have. Brian Elliott has a league-leading 1.53 GAA, while Jaroslav Halak has a rapidly improving 2.40 GAA.
9	Philadelphia Flyers	15-7-3	The Flyers lead the league in goals scoring, but the less-than-stellar play of Ilya Bryzgalov in goal (2.83 GAA) has to be a concern. So is the loss of Chris Pronger for a month.
10	Phoenix Coyotes	14-9-3	Ilya who? The sparkling play of Mike Smith in net (2.26 GAA) has calmed the fears of Yotes’ fans, and helped put the team in a tie for the lead in the Pacific Division.

Hockey Purgatory

Purgatory - a place of transition, where those who redeem themselves can find their way to Heaven, while those that don’t could go straight to Hell.

Rank	Team	Record	Comment
11	Florida Panthers	15-8-4	All those who expected Kris Versteeg to be a better-than-a-point-a-game player this season, raise your hand. Hey you in the back! Put your hand down and get out! Nobody likes a liar.
12	Toronto Maple Leafs	15-10-2	Phil Kessel is tied for the league-lead in goals and points, and the surprising Joffrey Lupul stands third in points. Leaf fans are hoping this is the year there will be playoff hockey in Toronto, but they’ll need to prevent goals for that to happen. The return of James Reimer from IR should help with that.
13	Chicago Blackhawks	16-8-4	The Blackhawks have plenty of offense, but their goaltending to date has been suspect. They have a team GAA of 2.97, which is not likely to cut it against teams like Detroit (2.22 team GAA).
14	Los Angeles Kings	13-9-4	It’s a good thing for the Kings that Jonathan Quick has played so well in goal (1.97 GAA, league-leading 4 shutouts), because the offense just isn’t there yet.
15	Montreal Canadiens	11-11-5	Defenseman Andrei Markov is not fully recovered, needs surgery, and won’t return for at least a few more weeks. In other news, the sky is blue, the world is round, and Republicans hate Democrats (and vice-versa).
16	Edmonton Oilers	13-11-3	The Oilers got off to a surprisingly good start this season behind the scoring of youngsters Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Taylor Hall, and Jordan Eberle, and the rejuvenated Nikolai Khabibulin in goal. They’re slipping in the standings lately, and it remains to be seen how much the loss of Hall will affect them.
17	Ottawa Senators	13-11-3	The Sens have been a veritable roller coaster ride this year. They started off the season going 1-5-0, and then had stretches of 6-0-0, 0-4-1, and 6-2-2.
18	Winnipeg Jets	11-11-4	It took the Jets a little while to take off this season, but breaking up their top line helped jumpstart their engines. Winnipeg is 6-2-1 in their last nine games, and they are in the midst of playing 13 of 15 games at home, after playing 15 of their first 23 games on the road.
19	Colorado Avalanche	13-13-1	As Semyon Varlamov goes, so go the Avs. In October, he finished with a 5-3-0 record and a 2.44 GAA. In his first 7 November starts, he went 0-6-1 with a 4.18 GAA. In his last 5 starts, he's 4-1-0 with a 1.78 GAA.
20	Nashville Predators	12-10-4	What’s happened to Pekka Rinne? In his last 6 starts, he has a 4.11 GAA.

Hockey Hell

Hockey Hell - the place where the truly wretched go. If there’s any question as to whether these teams belong here, just listen to what their fans are saying: "What the hell are they doing out there?", "What in the hell is the coach thinking?" and "Why in the hell am I paying so much for tickets to watch this crap?"

Rank	Team	Record	Comment
21	Dallas Stars	15-10-1	The Stars have gone 4-7-1 since losing star defenseman Alex Goligoski. Do you suppose they miss him?
22	Buffalo Sabres	14-11-1	The Sabres have been devastated with injuries, with Ryan Miller, Tyler Ennis and Jochen Hecht having missed time, and with Tyler Myers and Brad Boyes (and others) currently on IR. Coach Lindy Ruff deserves a place in Hockey Hell for all the whining he’s doing about how his players are being treated. (Note to Sabres’ management - you need someone on your squad tougher than Paul Gaustad).
23	Tampa Bay Lightning	11-13-2	Last year, Dwayne Roloson played extremely well after coming over from the Islanders. This year, he has been wildly inconsistent and looks every bit of his 42 years. His horrible 3.55 GAA and .886 save percentage are making the Lightning turn more and more to backup Mathieu Garon (2.47/.915).
24	Calgary Flames	11-13-2	The Flames are going to miss defenseman Mark Giordano, who is out indefinitely with partially torn tendons in his leg.
25	Washington Capitals	13-12-1	Since starting the year with a 7-0-0 record, the Caps have gone 6-11-1. Alex Ovechkin and Alexander Semin are apparently still on summer vacation, which cost coach Bruce Boudreau his job (though Anaheim thanks you).
26	New Jersey Devils	12-12-1	One has to think that the Devils are going to regret the long-term contract they gave to Ilya Kovalchuk almost as much as the Islanders regret the DiPietro contract. Kovalchuk’s 6 goals and 10 assists is not enough for the amount of money he’s getting.
27	New York Islanders	8-11-5	The Isles just completed a 4 game road trip by going 3-0-1. It helps that they finally decided to start using their best goaltender - Al Montoya.
28	Columbus Blue Jackets	7-16-3	Top goalie Steve Mason has a 3-12-1 record with a 3.63 GAA and a .875 save percentage. Backup goalie Curtis Sanford, who has filled in while Mason was out with a concussion, is 4-3-2 with a 2.10 GAA and a .926 save percentage. It might be in the Jackets’ best interest not to rush Mason back.
29	Anaheim Ducks	7-14-5	The Ducks suck. There’s just no nice way to say it. Teemu Selanne is playing great, but Bobby Ryan, Lubomir Visnovsky and Jonas Hiller have been major disappointments. It remains to be seen whether new coach Bruce Boudreau can turn things around.
30	Carolina Hurricanes	8-16-4	Eric Staal is tops in the league! In points? No. Staal has the NHL’s worst +/- at -17. Ex-coach Paul Maurice thanks you for your (lack of) effort, Eric.