Please don't do the "stek"

Written by Justin Azevedo | 27 January 2011

So, it's the All-Star break. The team sucks, they're old, they can't score and they can't defend. Yet, somehow, they are only 2 points back of 7th place. Currently, they are riding a 4 game winning streak, with all of the wins coming against competent, if not good, teams. The bounces seem to be coming our way. 20 or so old fuckers in the dressing room are clawing at the doors of the 8th spot. Sports Club Stats has us at an 18.09% chance of making the playoffs. Now, if I didn't know that all youse guyz are still extremely negative about the team making the playoffs, then I wouldn't be writing this.

Walk with me for a moment, will you?

The team has completely fucked themselves out of a good drafting position. Any hope of drafting elite, NHL-ready talent has gone out the window. Right now, the Flames would be picking (checks NHL.com) around 10th. Quickly! Without looking at a list, name 10 guys in the entry draft this year. Hell, name 5. I bet the majority of you can't do it. Why? Because this draft class sucks. It is brutal, terrible, awful, no-good and rotten. Once you get past THE GREAT BEAST LANDESKOG, Ryan I-have-1993-fucking-letters-in-my-name and Toothless Couturier, there's shit all for Le Equipé Flambes. So, instead of "Tryin for Ryan", "Losing for LANDESKOG" or "Crashing for Couturier", cheer for the old bastards in the room.

NO! IT'S OLLI JOKINEN! NOOO! NOOOOOO! NOOOOO! NOT THIS GUY! NOT THIS GUY! NOOOOOOHMYGOD!!! YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE! NOOO! NOOO...

FUCKIN' OLLI JOKINEN, MAN. 

SHIT.

Sorry. Fuckin' Olli Jokinen just hit another post. Back to the topic at hand-If Feaster's not a moron (and the debate about that is still ongoing) he's not going to be trading any big pieces soon. Let's stick it out. Hope for the playoffs. DARE TO DREAM! Who knows, maybe Kipper finds that apple core or whatever from the Bible and turns into a god damn diamond and memory foam wall in the net. Maybe Jarome Iginla, who, judging by the CalgaryPuck forums, is apparently hated by everyone now, lights that shit up in game 7. IT COULD HAPPEN.

If they keep winning, you may as well cheer for them, right?

FUN STATS TIME!
Babchuk-14 Points in 34 games. Phaneuf-11 Points in 33 games.
At least he's got leadership.
And Red Bull.

DANCING JUSTIN.